Just passed a group of bros in the parking lot. They were all wearing snapbacks and muscle shirts. As I passed I heard their conversation. The one bro was arguing, “Naw man, Dumbledore was a terrible caretaker, he literally sent kids into fucking death forest for detention. Messed up man.”
Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.
“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”
omfg this is great
New favorite comeback.
"James Potter, did you lose Harry again?" shouts Lily Potter to her husband at eleven o’clock at night.
"Er…maybe?" says James, cringing slightly and backing away.
"You see, Harry? That’s the brightest star in the sky," Sirius whispers to the child wrapped in his leather jacket as they both sit on the shingled roof, oblivious to the argument raging below.
IM SO PISSED OFF THAT WE DONT HAVE BALLS ANY MORE
I WANT TO WEAR A HUGE DRESS AND BE COURTED AND DANCE AROUND AND HAVE MY GOWN SWEEP THE FLOOR AND BE ALL ELEGANT AND GRACEFUL WITH GLOVES AND SHIT
BUT NO WE HAVE DUMB HOUSE PARTIES WITH CHEAP BEER AND RED CUPS AND HORNY TEENAGE BOYS WHO PUT THEIR HANDS UP MY SHIRT
i was confused at the word balls in the beginning until i finished it